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Why is organizing so much easier when you start with someone else’s belongings?

Clients often call looking for help with several projects within their home.  As I ask questions to determine their priorities and a starting point, occasionally the client will volunteer a child’s room or their husband’s “man cave.”  I agree that we can start wherever she prefers; however, my experience tells me these choices are, um, typically the least productive.

Here’s why:

1)  It’s natural to choose another person’s area because the client (the person who called to hire me) has fewer emotional attachments to the other family member’s belongings.  Deciding to let someone else’s things go is so much quicker and easier.  Isn’t it?  Trust me when I tell you this surprise won’t be received well.

2)  Next, other members of the family may not have called in the Organizer and may not yet buy into the idea of purging and organizing.  If the client starts with his or her own belongings and shows tangible results (a beautiful, organized room or two), trust is established, and volunteers start to line up.

I’ve been welcomed into many homes and, sometimes, I can actually feel the trepidation of the innocent by-standers (husbands, life partners, and children.)  These are the people who nodded “yes” to the theory of getting organized, and a few days later, find themselves, slack-jawed, being introduced to a genuine Professional Organizer standing in their living room armed with bags for “lettings things go,” “donations,” and a box for things to “to sell.”

The by-standers may openly admit to a fear that their possessions will be the first to go (good instincts).  Some ask if I’ll put their belongings on the front lawn “like they do on TV.”  Once they learn that public humiliation isn’t part of my process, the handwringing often stops, but they still follow me around keeping a watchful eye.   And, that’s okay.  In all honesty, if the tables were turned, I would need some assurances, too.

In every home, belongings get co-mingled.  Therefore, as we move through a room, methodically organizing each area, anything that doesn’t belong to the client, and seems out of place, we put in an “ask” pile.  Later, the owner of the “ask” pile decides to keep, donate, or toss those items.  All “keepers” need to be assigned home.  The best way to select a home for each item is to store it where you use it.

You might be thinking, “Building trust is great, but where should I start?”  Excellent question!  Here’s the short answer.

The way to decide where to start is to choose the area that gives you the most “pain.”  Let’s say the person making the call is a woman.  Her “pain” might refer to the discomfort of getting dressed and going out in the morning.  Is her closet full of things that don’t fit anymore?  Is the floor littered with stray shoes? Does the space feel claustrophobic?  Are there more pieces of clothing that don’t fit than do fit?  That’s enough to make anyone feel depressed before reaching the breakfast table in the morning.  If so, this is the place to start.

If everyone is late getting off to school and work because the kitchen isn’t efficient or meal planning doesn’t work, planning is needed in this area.

If you’re disorganization costs you time and money in the office, this is where organization will change your life from day one.

If you choose the space that causes you the most “pain,” organization will provide the most relief.  Once you learn some tricks of the trade, you’ll be inspired to make every facet of your life work like a well-oiled machine.

Without a doubt, the biggest clutter problem that faces people these days is paper.  It comes in through snail mail every day, from the kids bringing forms home, from items we print from our computer, notes that we make to ourselves in our car or while sitting in the doctor’s office, and just about everywhere we go.

Out of frustration, sometimes people just put it in a pile on the counter or desk and then the next day add more and then the next day more, etc. until the pile can’t stand on its own anymore.  The “tipping point” is when the pile starts falling over.

When it gets to this point, most people start going through the paper and files from the bottom up worrying that the papers on the bottom would be the most urgent. Sounds logical enough until you realize that if there’s anything on the bottom that needed attention, you mostly likely would have had a call or crisis to bring it to your attention. Nine times out of ten, most things take care of themselves by just becoming obsolete.

The more efficient way to sort when you have larges piles of paper is to start at the top and by handling the most recent and to include each new day’s papers with the process.  That way when you do get to the bottom, most of which probably just needs to be filed or tossed, you’ll be on top of everything.  Starting at the bottom and continuing to pile new incoming papers on top just adds to the feeling that you’re never quite caught up.

To stay in control of paper, set up a system where you make decisions each day for 5 minutes.  It doesn’t matter what time of day as long as it becomes part of every day.  Paper can be divided into just a few categories:  Toss / shred / file / needs action.

If you want to spread it around more, you can also have a stack for someone else to review and handle (read as husband or significant other).  There’s no reason why all the paper in the house is exclusively your responsibility.  If your children are old enough, they might even be able to take responsibility for some of it.  With a little investment of your time, you could assign older children these tasks, helping take some stress from you and teaching them responsibility that will serve them well as they begin to deal with the same issue.

Don’t surrender to the battle that paper presents every day.  Divide and conquer!

This is not going to be a blog post about a hysterically funny, smart lady that I loved. No this is about the process we had to go through to empty my mother-in-law’s apartment after she passed away. We had to accomplish this task in 2 days. Yikes.

Organization was a must here. My husband, we will call him “Mr. Executor”, came to me (his Personal Professional Organizer) to figure out how to achieve his mother’s goals, make sure everyone was treated fairly, and get the job done quickly.

First, we were surprised at how much actually was in her apartment. It always looked so nice. My mother in law had good taste and liked to shop!

• First we determined what the move out date would be, since we had to pay by the day for her apartment the sooner, the better.

• From here I created a spreadsheet of all the apartment contents. We only inventoried the furniture, decor and artwork, all the other items were going to be distributed between the brothers with the balance being donated.

Mr. Executor was concerned that everyone would want the same items. This was going to be the challenge, so he thought.

• I sent the spreadsheet to the brothers along with a set of rules to clarify the process. They checked off what they wanted and returned the spreadsheet to me.

• I cut and pasted their list of items into the master spreadsheet and compared them. Happily there were only a couple of lamps that more than one person wanted. Luckily those few items were easily decided (no one had their heart set on them).

• All of the clothing would be donated; the brothers didn’t want any part of this process. I got to work with my laptop, trash bags and Its Deductible started listing. All the shoes went to the NAPO Philadelphia Soles 4 Souls campaign..

• We also decided that the small valuables (think jewelry and silver) as well as the photos would be done at a later date. They were sent to our house to be secured until that time came.

• Thursday Mr. Executor, myself, my brother-in-law and sister-in-law got there bright and early with our boxes, tape guns, and trash bags. We needed to pack everything and have it ready for the Friday afternoon truck.

We found some party hats, noisemakers, and a magic wand, in the spirit of my mother in law we wore these the better part of the 2 days and had a lot of laughs. This she would have appreciated!

• Basically at this point my sister in law and I took over, since all of the furniture, décor and most of the artwork was already decided that left the boring stuff to us…dishes, pots and pans, the bathroom, and linens. We determined who could use what, it was packed into boxes for her house and my house.

• All else was donated. Get out the trusty laptop and Its Deductible.

• Friday afternoon the trucks came we packed my brother-in-laws stuff in one of them. Did a delivery to West Chester, the rest on to Pittsburgh. The second truck got loaded, delivered everything to my house, then went back to collect the donations and dropped them off.

We were done! Oh I forgot we still have the small valuables to do one of these days. Since we had such a great experience with the spreadsheet, we will do that again, with photos this time!

We were anticipating the worst-case scenario where emotions would get the best of everybody. With some organization, coordination, and ground rules, this was a very successful family event. We actually had some fun along with the tears!

To prove a theory for this article I asked my husband, “What was the greatest gift you have ever received?” His reply, “You, my dear.” He actually said that, but he’s British so it’s normal. I pushed further to prove that giving the gift of an experience, a shared memory, far outlasts any tangible possession. So, I asked, “What is your favorite childhood memory?” His response, “Going to the seaside with my family.” Exactly!

As an organizer I often work with families who struggle to organize and maintain all of their possessions. The number of their belongings conflicts with their desire for space. When I ask why, there is often a common thread in their responses. They tell me that family and friends are generous with gifts for them and for their children. The abundance is both a blessing and a curse.

We can sort all of the toys by categories, find bins to accommodate them, place them at accessible heights, and add labels (or pictures for pre-readers). However, as a Professional Organizer, it’s my job to help clients organize their belongings AND transfer skills to help them maintain order. So, I feel obligated to explain that the more you have the more you need to maintain. More stuff = more work.

My kind hearted clients are faced with two problems, 1) where to put all of the toys and gifts and 2) how to politely discourage more. In Annette Reyman’s (another NAPO-GPC Professional Organizer) July 11 blog, she told us that in the event of an emergency home evacuation, pictures rank second only to living things (people and pets) for items we want rescued. I agree but believe that it’s not the photos themselves we want to preserve. It’s the memories. So, how do we discourage abundant gift giving?

Ask your generous friends to plan a special day together. My brother, cousins, and I often reminisce about happy childhood memories. Our parents and grandparents were of modest means, but they kept us busy enough not to notice. Our outings included dozens of us meeting up at the beach, backyard parties, surprise visits, ice skating lessons, the Easter show at Radio City (their multi-million dollar renovations were likely a result of my younger brother’s stomach virus), and seeing the Nutcracker at Christmas just to name a few.

Never keep anything out of guilt. Every item in your home should be useful or something you love. Space is finite and excess can be more of a burden than a blessing. Be ruthless about what you let into your home. You’ll have to make room for it, dust it, polish it, store it, dry clean it, mend it, fold it, and then when you’re sick of it, you have to get rid of it.

Life is busy. Our schedules are hectic. Often the best gift we can give the people we love is our time.

If you’re really stumped about what to buy the person in your life who has everything, consider a session with a professional organizer. I’ve heard it said that it is our memories that mold us. Let a professional organizer help you create a home that’s a true reflection of you and your happiest moments. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Back-to-school time is upon us. Organizing is critical for a smooth exit in the morning, to make sure homework gets done, and to achieve a tranquil household. Moreover, you are teaching your children how to organize their own lives when they enter the work force on their own. Let’s break it down:

Mornings and Evenings

• For stress-free mornings and time for breakfast: pack lunches the night before, have papers signed, and backpacks packed.
• Have a designated area for an easy exit (preferably where you actually go out the door) for backpacks (with homework and signed papers), coats, and after school activities stuff (clothing, sports equipment, and/or instruments).
• Depending upon the age of the child, have clothing laid out so dressing is a cinch. Use the collapsible sweater shelves that hang from a rod in the closet and mark them with each day of the week (or just leave unlabeled). Kids can put an outfit, socks, underwear and even shoes in each slot so there’s no hunting for items in the morning. This could be done on a Sunday quickly and quietly and then each child is set for the week!
• Have a family calendar in a central location and review the next day’s schedule. Use this area to post upcoming events.
• Have homework areas designated according to the age of the child, the amount of supervision she needs, and your space restrictions. Typically the younger the child, the more supervision he or she needs. The kitchen is a good place for parents to keep watch over children and help with homework. Offices work if a child’s room has too many distractions in order to focus. Teenagers typically choose their bedrooms; some may or may not need a desk. You can always change the location if grades go up or down.

Child’s Room

• Involve your child in organizing her room. Interview your child as a professional organizer would and ask her what she likes and dislikes about her room.
• Integrate as many of her suggestions to increase the chance the arrangement will work. Allow experimentation with the layout even if the room may appear chaotic at times.
• Divide the room into zones for different activities so everything has a ‘home’. Use furniture as room dividers instead of ‘lining the walls’ with furniture.
• Go vertical wherever possible: hooks, single shelves, book shelves, pockets on the backs of doors and inside closets.
• Use bed risers used by college students to boost the bed to store items underneath (use rolling bins).
• The less time she has to spend opening a lid, using a hanger, or opening a drawer, the more chance it will stay that way.

Start Organizing Early

• Unclutter after birthdays and holidays. It’s an easier time to let go of things.
• There’s only so much room; if you buy something new, get rid of something old. Teach your child charitable giving.
• Allow your children to sell their belongings at yard sales or on EBay.
• Set a good example and organize your own spaces.

Clutter Quote: “Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling your walk before it stops snowing.” Phyllis Diller

Even the most organized of us will get to a point after years in the same home where we find ourselves somewhat overwhelmed by the things we’ve collected. Raising children will attract items that represent memories that make us smile, and some that will send us screaming from the attic and basement. Now that you’ve saved all those art projects, sports trophies, posters and various collections of Beanie Babies, Polly Pocket paraphernalia, Matchbox cars, baseball cards, etc. over the years, it’s time to reclaim your space and do some purging. One word of caution here: Don’t purge the baseball cards. You’ll never live it down – believe me!

Funny thing about kids, even after they’ve gone to college or married and moved to another city, they still often feel like your home should serve as a storage locker for the items they no longer need and don’t want to sort through. As a result, 18 years multiplied by the number of children you’ve raised results in – well, you do the math on the clutter.

Sooner or later when you can no longer get into your attic or basement because it’s become a warehouse of memorabilia, it’s time to take control. You might want to use the space to create an office, craft room, exercise room or an organized storage room for other items that are sure to arrive at your doorstep in the coming years. At some point you’ll probably inherit your parents’ furniture and important files and begin to start saving all those photographs, art projects, and hand-made gifts from your grandchildren. Having gone through this transition, I have some things to share in the way of processing what to keep, purge and move along to someone else.

ALLOW TIME

Be sure to allow plenty of time to complete this project. After all, it took many years to amass these things, so it’s probably going to take more than an afternoon.

SERVE NOTICE

A good way to start is to alert your family that you are taking on this project and ask if there’s anything in the storage area that they would like you to pack up and send to them. They may have a short list of things they want you to hold onto for them. You’ll probably find that they can’t remember what’s in the attic and aren’t interested in most of what’s stored up there. If, however, they want to do the sorting and purging themselves, you can agree to use part of the room to be organized as a staging area where you’ll hold the items up to an agreed upon date.

GET HELP

This is not for the faint-hearted, so instead of trying to take this on yourself, ask a friend to work with you who is emotionally detached from your possessions. This is where it’s prudent to engage a professional organizer who is trained in what questions to ask so that you can make good decisions on what to keep and what to do with those things that need to be moved out.

PREPARING THE ATTACK

Before you start, gather some materials to help you work more efficiently.

• trash bags – dark green for trash, so once something is placed in there you won’t need to see it again.
• trash bags – white for donations, whether to friends and family members, or charities.
• permanent black marker – for labeling the white donation bags.
• boxes/bins – one for each of your family members for items they want to keep.
• plenty of water and some snacks.

There’s some value in creating a place for items that you want to decide on later, but try to refrain from delaying decision and having to pick up the same item(s) multiple times.

THE PAYOFF

Completing a project like this will give you great satisfaction and probably inspire you to continue your organizing throughout your house. One additional benefit of this exercise is that it helps you to better identify what items are really of value and should be stored for posterity and what is probably not worth keeping as you move forward. That knowledge will help you to better maintain the area that just opened up for your craft room, or whatever purpose you decide for this reclaimed space.