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If you are reading this, chances are that you will need an executor and/or will be an executor at some point in your life. An executor is the person named in a will to administrate the estate of the person who died leaving that will. The job of the executor is to make sure that the deceased person’s wishes, as described in the will, are carried out.
Here are some of the tasks executors perform:

• Inventorying the assets of the deceased: cash money, financial investments, real estate, collections of valuable objects, the contents of a home, as well as personal articles such as clothing and jewelry (this collection of assets is known as “the estate”).
• Obtaining contact information for far-flung beneficiaries and heirs named in the will, as well as notifying them.
• Identifying any outstanding debts of the deceased person and paying them off. Working with banks and other financial institutions to transfer money from living accounts to estate accounts.
• Calculating the taxes due on the estate, filing the estate tax return, and paying those taxes on time.
• Assisting an attorney, accountant, or other professional associated with the will.
• Distributing the estate to the beneficiaries and heirs after all the above has been completed, and disposing of what remains.

These tasks can be complex, full of “red tape” and frustrating, so it is important to choose the right person for the job.

A good executor is:

• Detail-oriented
• Comfortable with numbers
• A good problem-solver
• Willing to make decisions
• Patient when faced with frustration
• Able to be fair and impartial with family members and other heirs
• Available to spend the considerable time it can take to administer an estate

Too often, people making a will choose their executor based on family dynamics or out of a wish to bestow an ‘honor’ on a special person in their life. They give little consideration to the personal traits and skills needed by the executor, with disastrous results. As a professional organizer specializing in finances and paperwork, I have witnessed these horror stories when the wrong person was chosen for the job of executor:

• The sibling who was emotionally closest to the parent was chosen as executor. The executor was impatient and unable to be impartial; emotional blowups were frequent during the distribution of the estate, and assets were distributed first to the executor and then to the ‘squeaky wheel’ among the heirs.
• The will-maker chose the child who had pursued the same career, believing this ensured the necessary qualifications to be an executor. But this executor lacked the time to administer the estate and was easily frustrated when faced with red tape. The will-maker died five years ago and the estate is still not wrapped up.
• An executor with a lifelong fear of math procrastinated with the numbers and details of the estate, potentially missing tax deadlines and paying penalties and interest as a result.

The key take-away from this post is to choose your executor carefully, based on the skills needed to do the job. But perhaps, you have already chosen an executor who lacks some of these skills, and you don’t want to make waves by changing. Or maybe, you have been named as someone’s executor and feel unqualified for the job. In either case, don’t despair, because help is available. Professional organizers can help inventory the deceased person’s possessions, and can help sell and/or donate possessions not inherited by a specific individual. Some organizers specialize in the organizing of finances, paperwork and information, and can help with these aspects of the executor’s job. A good place to find an organizer to help with the administration of an estate is the ‘Find an Organizer’ link at www.napo-gpc.org.

It happens in every family — a rite of passage that marks a new life stage — when you give up, or take over, hosting family holiday dinners. As I take out our Seder plate and Passover dishes, I think back to when I assumed this function for our family, and wonder when my children will assume it for me.

If you’re lucky, these role changes occur over time. You offer to make the chicken soup or brisket, you arrive early to help set up or stay late to clean up. And then one day — you are hosting the holiday meal — and your parents and children are helping you. These are happy transitions, that you make of your own will and where you control the timing. But sometimes, change is thrust upon you, because someone passes away or is ill. These changes are no less natural, but metaphorically and physically, there is an empty place at the table.

There seems to be no set age when you “become the grown up.” Some people host holiday meals well into their eighties; others shift the responsibility in their fifties, sixties or seventies. I’m not sure how families decide when to change their routine and custom.

Passover is unique, perhaps, because you can host the holiday meal while a parent can lead the Seder. You can assume the physical work, and an older family member can still have the role of patriarch or matriarch. Perhaps every religion has holidays and rituals that pass this same way from one generation to another.

My husband and I are hosting Passover this year, but already my kids have started the Passover passage. My daughter is arriving the night before to help set up and prepare her famous matzo-spinach lasagna. My older son is helping his dad make chicken soup, and my younger son will help arrange our furniture to accommodate a crowd of 20. We plan to hold Seder at our house for many years to come, but we are grateful for the help, and thankful that our kids are interested in preserving the tradition.

As with all holiday traditions, initiating change is hard. When we once suggested moving away from brisket, there was widespread family rebellion. Every departure from a favorite dish, it seems, is suspect or outright vetoed in advance.  Dishes served year after year become comfort foods that define the holiday. And in part, I like this. For decades, a friend’s mother prepared a broccoli-corn casserole for Thanksgiving. Although her mom died five years ago, my friend and her dad still prepare the same broccoli-corn casserole together every year. In doing so, they honor her mother’s memory, and more important in my mind, they celebrate the relationship she has with her dad.

I heard today about a new custom, a lovely one, and although I am not sure it is right for us, it may be for others. Each year, everyone who attends this Seder signs their name on the tablecloth. My friend then embroiders the names, and the next year, the same tablecloth is used and that year’s names are added. They are starting their third year of this tradition, and already her children have said that this tablecloth is one of the things they most want when they “grow up.”

Personally, I like incorporating new traditions in with the old. It makes holidays into living things that evolve and change over time. Passing the baton to the next generation on Passover is like that too. It is as if, through change, we keep things the same.

Celebrating family time at my home

I could NEVER let a Professional Organizer into my house!

This is a sentiment that I hear frequently once someone finds out what I do for a living. The reaction normally sounds something like: “You mean you help people get rid of clutter and get their homes organized? Oh, I need you!” And then, “Your home must be perfect.” This is a response that I, and every organizer I know, have come to expect upon meeting someone new. So yes, helping people free themselves of clutter and get organized is a good way to sum up what I do.

Even though this profession has been around since at least the 1980’s, it is relatively new to the general public and just beginning to be understood. “Reality” T.V. shows have given a glimpse mainly into one small area of professional organizing — hoarding. The industry is so much broader than that.

There are professional organizers who specialize in office & paper management, productivity, time management, home downsizing, digital organization, move-management, ADHD support, senior support, families and children, special needs, and so much more! So, when someone says, “I need you,” they’re probably right. Everyone could use a professional organizer in some way or another, whether to help manage their homes, their businesses or their lives.

To address your curiosity about whether our homes are perfect, I’d like to share a personal story from my recent trip to New Orleans to attend the annual NAPO conference:

Having spent a full nine-to-five day in training courses, an evening of networking with other professional organizers from around the country, and then preparing for the next day’s training, I was exhausted. It was the beginning of the week, and my roommate, a fellow organizer from my chapter, had just arrived. I was so happy to see her and yet apologetic because I had to admit that I sometimes snore at night. In response to my obvious embarrassment, she responded, “Oh, you’re human? Good. I’m human too. I was hoping to get a human roommate.” We laughed and then set out for a walk to the local 24-hour drug store to buy earplugs!

This sums up one of the most valuable benefits you will find if you hire a professional organizer. We’re human, and we expect that you are too — no judgment, no shame, no outrageous expectations. Our goal is to help you by supporting and guiding you in creating peaceful and joyful spaces.

Yes, my home is organized, but no, it’s not perfect. I don’t waste my time on perfectionism. My time is better spent keeping a home that is happy and healthy, comfortable and efficient, so that the people who live in and enter into my home feel the precious value of their own worth.

Now that the Super Bowl is over, wouldn’t it be great if you could pass the fun of football into the fun of organizing? Try following these game rules to motivate your household during your next home organizing project!

Huddle Up – Take on the role of Coach and gather the team (a.k.a. your family) on the couch. Get them running by warming up some Queso dip and letting the smells waft up to their rooms. You could even invite everyone to put on their favorite football jerseys.

Strategize – While you are munching, decide on a room to tackle, such as your living room. Make a plan; assign a specific task to each member of the team. For example, have the kids put their toys and games away while the adults go through the mail, sorting out the junk mail from the bills and other important papers.

Snap into Play – Set a timer for 15 minutes, which is a good amount of time to get a task done, or to work on a task without it being overwhelming. Coincidentally, it is also the length of time of a quarter in a football game! Then move on to another task for an additional 15 minutes.

Halftime – Time for a break and some entertainment! Have some snacks and drinks, play a board game, or watch a show that everyone will enjoy.

Snap into Play (again) – Repeat two more tasks, each lasting 15 minutes. If you are having fun and can’t seem to stop, just consider it as overtime!

Touchdown for the Win! – Congrats! You are the winning team! But just remember, whomever wins goes on to play another game — there is another room to organize in your near future!

As you anticipate watching the ball drop in Times Square on New Year’s Eve, why not use these last days of 2013 to start your own countdown to the New Year? If clutter’s been an issue, here’s a countdown that will help you shake off the dust of the past so you can embrace the promise of the future. Ready? Here we go:

10!  De-clutter your family room –  Choose ten catalogues or magazines to recycle.

9!  Lighten up your bookshelves – Select nine books to donate to your local library.

8!  Make room for your new holiday clothes –  Go through your closets and drawers to see what you still love and what still fits. Remove eight articles of clothing to donate to your local Good Will Store.

7!  Unburden over-stuffed cupboards – Remove seven old, broken, or mismatched mugs, glasses and plastic cups.

6!  Manage a messy ‘junk drawer’ – Recycle or toss six items: old pens, dried up white out, and unknown stray parts that have been there for too long.

5!  Streamline your pantry – Remove five food items: throw out any food past its expiration date and find something you could donate to a church or local food bank.

4!  Freshen up your sock drawer – Remove four pairs of socks that have holes, worn-out elastic or that you no longer like to wear.

3!  Reduce bathroom clutter – Discard three toiletry items that are expired or used up.

2!  Clean out your jewelry case – Find two pieces of broken jewelry like mismatched earrings or broken chains, which you can discard or bring to have repaired.   

1!  Reclaim lost counter space in your kitchen – Remove one large item that you do not use daily such as an appliance or basket that’s serving no useful purpose. Store it away or donate it if you no longer need it.

I raise a glass to you – here’s to a healthy, happy, and organized New Year!

I spent this past Thanksgiving holiday with my son and his extended family in Florida. Traveling during a major holiday has never been my first choice, but as a professional organizer, I realize that being organized helps to lessen the stress that holiday travel can bring. Most would agree that Thanksgiving has the best part of Christmas (family gathering) without the gifts getting in the way. In my profession, I see many gifts go unused regardless of the generous spirit in which they were given. Some of my clients dread the pending influx of additional clutter and want suggestions on how to curb the CRAP.

As a result, I often recommend clutter-free gift giving. A clutter-free gift is the gift of time, memories, an experience, or health. You can also give a gift that helps others who have needs beyond our imagination. Here are some suggestions:

CLUTTER-FREE GIFTS

• Car wash coupons
• Cooking lessons
• Dance/Yoga lessons
• Gym membership
• Movie tickets
• Museum membership
• Pottery/glass-making glasses (think Goggleworks)
• Savings Bonds (purchase online at www.treasurydirect.gov)
• 529 plan contributions
• Self-defense classes (think young women)
• Tattoo in honor of someone (my son did this for my husband and me)
• Tickets to the symphony/theatre

GIFT CARDS (not entirely clutter-free)

• Garden nurseries, home improvement stores, and bookstores
• Gas stations, grocery stores, and convenience stores
• iTunes, eMusic, and Ticketmaster
• Restaurants, coffee shops, and fast food restaurants
• Spa, facial, and massages

NON-PROFIT GIFT GIVING

• Cash donation to a charity in honor of the recipient. Let the recipient know via a card.
• Give a gift certificate so they can choose what charity to donate to: www.justgive.org.
• International Relief Fund: www.oxfamamericaunwrapped.com
• Green gifts for global impact: www.thegreenguide.com
• Life-sustaining gifts to help abolish global poverty or renew our planet’s environment: www.altgifts.org
• Donate an animal in honor of someone: donate.worldvision.org or www.heifer.org/gift
• Participate in the local toy drives
• Give a tree in honor of someone: www.newgrowth.com
• Donate a book on health information to communities all over the world at www.hesperian.org

GIFTS OF TIME

• Join a friend (instead of exchanging gifts): local art studio classes, yoga, book club, film club, craft and scrapbooking classes
• Babysitting coupons for nieces, nephews and grandchildren
• Take a child: to lunch, on a day trip, to the museum, to a local college for a sports event, to the zoo
• “First Christmas Together” (or other name) coupon book: Make a list of the things you know your partner would enjoy and include practical and fun things: e.g. a back rub, do the dishes for a week, make a candlelit dinner, do grocery shopping, etc.

Finally, if you can’t go clutter-free, choose a gift that donates a portion of its profit to a favorite non-profit agency of your choice. Verify the charity at www.give.org.

Organize your best holiday season by starting early and focusing on family. Happy Holidays to you and yours!

“The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.”-Ralph Waldo Emerson