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As we head into a new month, continued stay-at-home living in most states, with the kids out of school, and a large percentage of the workforce working from home, most of us are starting to wonder just how much longer we can survive through this pandemic. This downtime has been a blessing for some and a curse for others, and right about now, I bet most of you are struggling with staying busy, maintaining a routine and downplaying anxiety. If you have kids, you might be pulling your hair out amidst boredom, complaining and fights. In my house, we have had high highs and low lows. We have moved almost daily from amazing family moments of laughter and warmth to stressful bouts of fighting and discontent. This rollercoaster might look a bit different for each family, but I think there are some things we can do right now to combat the negatives and approach each new day with a sense of accomplishment and hope. None of this is new, but I know that I personally enjoy the timing of a good reminder when I need it the most.

The main thing that I have been working on lately is to be intentional and own my perspective. We all get bad thoughts occasionally, and with the scary things that the media is sharing, it’s no surprise that most of us are being hit with thoughts of worry, anxiety, and fear. It’s human to feel these things, and we shouldn’t necessarily fight them off when they show up. They are sometimes there to warn us against a real danger or protect us from something that might be about to happen. On the flip side, they can also be brought about or intensified by our imaginations or fears, generated from negative experiences in our past. Owning your perspective involves allowing all thoughts to enter and float by, analyzing them to obtain any useful information as they move, and letting them continue their journey out of your brain. Follow up with a positive affirmation, take a step forward anyway, and change the dynamic. The key for me has been to let the thoughts go. Don’t hold onto them, don’t brew over them, and don’t go to bed at night thinking about them. Instead, read a good book, listen to a motivational podcast, pray with intention, or call up a friend or family member to talk about something else. Simply dismissing a thought can feel easier said than done, but I have found that the magic is just as simple as distracting yourself and replacing the thought.

For the first few weeks after the schools closed, my family and I were all sick, so our lives resembled something like those of a pack of wild dogs, scrounging for food and doing whatever needed to stay alive. I joke, but it felt a bit like complete chaos. As we are healing, we are picking up the pieces, getting the laundry done and assessing the inventory of our pantry. Now is the time to reassess the state of your own household and determine things like what supplies are needed, how schedules will change, and who will be responsible for required household tasks. Reinventing and implementing a routine is key for feeling like you have some control over your situation. If you use a family command center or large calendar, erase the scheduled soccer practices and instead schedule a time for things like school or professional work, exercise, chores and free time.

As you acclimate to your family’s new routine, don’t forget to relax and give yourself some grace in this process. Most of us have never lived through a pandemic like this, and it has literally upheaved our lives in a matter of weeks. Most of us have never been trained to navigate in this time, and we are all in the process of figuring things out as we go. If the dishes are dirty and the laundry is piled up, it’s okay. If the kids are not yet in a home school routine, they will survive. If you are using tissues because the toilet paper ran out, everyone will still be fine. Take a deep breath and remember that you are smart, capable and blessed. If a routine or schedule doesn’t work out as you envisioned, change it. The sky will not fall, and you WILL go on to live another day.

I certainly don’t claim to be a therapist or guru in the art of living, but I can confidently claim the title of a real wife, mom, neighbor and professional who is also learning to navigate this strange time right alongside the rest of you. I am finding that readjusting my perspective to focus on the positive, continuing forward momentum, resuming a routine for my family, and giving myself the grace to show up in whatever capacity that I can bring to each day is helping to make great, slightly sweetened lemonade out of this batch of sour, slightly bruised up lemons lying in front of us.

Hello to all my Home Organizer friends!

Some people are intimidated about writing FaceBook posts and newsletters. I am not one of them. I find inspiration for FB posts and newsletters everywhere. For example, whenever one of my network friends posts something on FB or has an article in their newsletter that is relevant to my target market, I forward it to my Virtual Assistant and she posts it with a link their website. This helps build a rapport with my referral partners and gives me a wide variety of topics of interest to my current and prospective clients.

Home Organizers are all inspired by each other.  Annette Reyman’s tag line “We get you moved in so you can move on . . . with life!” inspired my tagline “Let me help you catch up so you can keep up.”
I have attached a few photos that I plan to use as part of a future newsletter that will be tied in with my tag line. It will also be used as a FB post and a blog on my website.

The captions will read:

Problem: Samantha is a busy single mom who had never been able to carve out time to get her son’s playroom under control.

Solution: We purged the room of toys and books he had outgrown for four hours. Organizing was a breeze; it only took two hours.

Result: Cameron was thrilled to be able to play with his remote-control toys now that the controls are easy to find. He has taken ownership of his playroom and makes sure his friends and cousins help keep it tidy.

Testimonial: “I learned a different way of thinking. It’s OK to get rid of stuff and not be sad about it. Bobbie educated me with some valuable tips. For example, instead of putting all of my son’s small action figures in one big bucket, she suggested I buy an organizing unit where he can see all the figures and find the ones he wants. He has even categorized them himself!”

– Samantha, Langhorne PA

I also have fun with my FB posts and would like to share a draft for a future post. Perhaps it will inspire you to write something fun of your own.

How Loud is Your Clutter?

Does your clutter whisper, “Psst, I’m over here? I’m getting out of control.” Or does your clutter clear her throat and say “Ahem, over here bud. Pay me some attention.”

Ignore your clutter too long and it will scream out you, “Yo! You can’t ignore me any longer! I’m here, I’m out of control and you need to deal with me NOW!”

If your clutter is verbally abusing you, you need to call me! Let’s schedule a consult and quiet your clutter.

Ahhhh, can you hear it? Stop. Listen closely. Is that the sound of an empty house? Oh my goodness! Are you actually at home – alone? That’s right folks. The kids are back to school and that morning cup of coffee hasn’t tasted this good in almost longer than you can remember.

Thank you Fall for showing up – right in time to save us from completely losing any semblance of sanity! While you sit for an extra 5 minutes, enjoying the sound of silence and taking another sip-o’-joe, you may begin to look around.

What you are looking at is the aftermath of summer:

• Collections of odd paraphernalia from summer crafts
• Flotsam and jetsam of beach and pool excursions (Wait. Whose towels are those?)
• Outgrown and short-lived children’s summer clothing and shoes
• Vacation pamphlets and souvenirs

Amidst everyone else’s debris, there are some of your own items that need attention, yet it’s hard to know which and where they are. Here are 3 suggestions from a Professional Organizer and mom of three grown children:

1. Pamper yourself. You made it through the summer. You planned and chaperoned and hosted and entertained. And now that everyone is back to their normal routines, start your autumn out by putting a date on the calendar for you. Get a massage. A manicure. Go out to lunch. Take time to get yourself settled down and focused for the season ahead.
2. Make a List. The start of a new season comes with a host of tasks, commitments and appointments. Go through each area of responsibility in your mind and write it ALL down on your list. Doing this type of “brain dump” will help you capture everything while you are able to quietly focus. Getting it onto paper and out of your head will also relieve stress and help with better sleep. So, before you jump in and start running from one new event to the next, have an extra sip of coffee and take 10 minutes to write down a list of everything that needs your time and attention:
   1. Home – are there any service people that you need to call – plumber? electrician? roofer?
   2. Car – is there an inspection due? Do you need to replace your windshield wipers? Is an oil change needed?
   3. Medical – do you or any other family member need a doctor or dentist appointment?
   4. Organizations – do you belong to any organizations that require your attention; PTA? Church? School? Club?
3. Clear your space. An organized space will help with clearing not just your environment but also your head. Organize an entire room or just one work area. Set things up the way you want them to be and allow your environment to support your productivity.

Take these three small steps and enter Fall confidently prepared to harvest the rewards of the season.

As an organizer, I always follow my client’s lead and only suggest we work on areas THEY identify. Every once in a while, though, I notice an irritating situation that could easily be solved with a label. 

This scenario came up a month ago while working in someone’s dressing area: her space has a number of zones with specific task lighting tied to a central panel. 

As we were leaving the space, she went to turn off her make-up area light. Not knowing which switch controlled which light, she ended up flicking every switch, one by one, until she found the ONE she needed. Her heavy sigh told me this issue is chronic.

So we fixed her problem — right then and there.

Now, if you know the story of the cobbler whose kids went barefoot, you will understand that just because I see “problem areas” in other people’s homes all day, this does not guarantee that I am a ruthless problem-solver in my own home. 

Spoiler alert: not every shelf, bin or basket in my home is labeled!

Truth is, not every shelf, basket or bin NEEDS to be labeled. If it is obvious what it is and if no one is having an issue finding what they need, then there is no problem. But confusion breeds stress. 

That same day, I went home and noticed myself doing the same thing to two of our three kitchen switches. That’s when I decided to do for myself what I do for others! So I labeled our switchplate. It’s been a game changer. The only thing I had to tweak was what I called them; my daughter did not think “door” made sense so we revised the label and now everyone is happy.

Our kitchen is the hub of our home, but now that the weather is warmer, we are spending a lot more time on our front porch. 

Fast forward to the other day, when my husband texted me to make sure I turned off the front pathway lights. Our guests had stayed late the night before, and he didn’t want to waste electricity. In the daylight, I could not see if the lights were on or off… Couple that confusion with another multi-switch panel, and my stress level was rising. Without a partner to check the outdoor fixture’s bulb, it was more exercise than I expected so early in the morning. I figured it out on my own, turned the pathway lights off and did what any organized person would do: I labeled each switch. 

This time, my family approved of every label AND my daughter commented the next morning how helpful it was to know which switch controlled which hallway light. She had stayed up later than all — not unusual for teenagers — and knowing that we sleep with our door open at night to give our dog freedom, she didn’t want to wake us with a bright light at the top of the stairs.

My labels helped protect my investment of time, saved our daughter from waking us, and granted me an uninterrupted night’s sleep!

Think of where a label or two could help your household function a little better or brighter, or maybe even ensure a better night’s sleep for you.

Banish household confusion with a label or two; it’s illuminating!

One of my favorite productivity experts, Laura Vanderkam, published her summer fun list this week, and it spurred me to create my own list. She encourages us to make time for “effortful” fun, ie things that require a little planning. That way, we don’t whittle the summertime away, wishing we had done more when Fall comes around.

I also wanted to view our summer fun list through the lens of saving money. Using Julie Morgenstern’s 4D approach, I thought about how we could “diminish” something, ie find the minimum effective dose. For example, should we pay $150 to see fireworks at Longwood Gardens or watch them for free at the local high school? Do we need to do the Phillies or would a minor league Blue Rocks game be just as fun?

So, here goes … my summer fun list!

• Do a picnic at the awesome Havre de Grace Tydings Park playground. It’s only about an hour drive from us. Our daughter plays for hours on the top-of-the-line playground overlooking the marina, and then we can take a walk on the boardwalk and grab a bite at The Promenade Grill.
• Watch an outdoor concert at Bellevue State Park. Bellevue is a hidden gem. Their outdoor concerts are a blast. Kids can run around and adults can lounge.
• Have a date night at Media’s Dining Under the Stars.
• Make a solid fireworks plan. I LOVE fireworks, but for some reason, every year on the 4th I find myself scrambling to figure out where and how to watch them. This year, following Vanderkam’s advice, I put some effort into it. We’ll be camping in good ol’ Slower Lower Delaware that weekend, so we’re all set to watch the Lewes fireworks from the Cape May Ferry terminal.
• Hit up a Member Night at the Philadelphia Zoo. These run from 6-8 pm, once a month, and they’re a great chance to explore the zoo with less crowds and less heat.
• Walk on the beach. I may have grown up on the beaches of #slowerlower, but I’m not a beach lover. I just can’t deal with all the schlepping and the stickiness. BUT I do love a good WALK on the beach, especially before sunset. So I’ve gotta figure out a way to make that happen, likely without my lovely but impatient daughter in tow, saying “Moooooooooom, my legs are tiiiiiiiiiiired.”
• Sit in a pool on a float.
• Read a novel next to a campfire.
• Camping. Lots and lots of camping.

I’ve already done the work to schedule most of these things, so now I can just sit back and let the fun happen. Happy summer everyone!

Thinking about and recording emergency medical care choices is not about death. It is all about how you wish to be treated while you are alive.

Someday, you may be brought to a hospital in critical condition. You may be confused or unable to answer questions that are asked of you. You are not dead and, in actuality (and hopefully), you might not die.

If you are sedated and admitted to the hospital, how will the staff know who to contact and what you like or want?

When I worked as a hospital chaplain, I cared for a young man who was in a coma. The nursing staff realized that he became agitated when the room was quiet. His family brought in music from several of his favorite recording artists. When the music was played, he rested peacefully. How did his family know what to do? He told them in advance.

My point is that hospital or medical care is not just about physical care. It should and does include emotional and spiritual care as well as basic life preferences.

This can even help when the situation is not as critical. For instance, my wife, Naomi, hates to sleep with the blankets tucked tightly around her feet. If something should happen to her, I want to make sure that she is as comfortable as possible. Because I know her wishes, I will be able to relay this to the nursing staff.

While writing an Advance Directive is detailed and usually focuses mainly on end-of-life or death decisions, the following questions may help others care for you when you are critically ill.

What other kinds of non-medical information should the medical staff know about you?

Can you answer the following questions?

• If I am admitted to the hospital or I am facing a long recuperation, either at home or in a rehabilitation facility, who would I want to be notified and wish to come visit?
• Is it okay to post information about my illness or injury on social media?
• Am I more afraid of being in pain or being drugged to the point of not being able to visit with people?
• Are there any particular foods that would make me happy (assuming that I have the approval of the doctor)?
• Do I prefer quiet in my room or do I want music? If music, what kind?
• If I am unable to read, would I like audiobooks or someone to read to me?
• If I am in a coma or drugged, do I want someone just to sit with me?
• Do I want my rabbi, priest or other spiritual leader to visit me?
• Do I want the person who makes decisions to be the Emergency Room doctor or would I rather have someone who knows me and knows what I want to make those decisions?
• If I have identified a person to speak on my behalf (medical power of attorney or agent), does he or she know what I want to happen if current treatment is not working?

Remember, you may be healthy and active now, but don’t put off making some of these decisions today. Think of it like a health insurance policy. Hopefully you will never have to use it, but if you do, it is great to know it is available! Knowing what you want to happen is only the first step in the process. Writing your wishes down is the second. Telling someone whom you trust is essential.